She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[ericmsant2]

Crushed

I do not have much more to add...oh...F it...yes I do.

As Grit pointed out you are not detached. You have not let go. You are still really pissed about OM. Dude, it is normal so I will say cut yourself a little slack.

You are still trying to figure her out, still looking at what she says and does.

So what I think is.....Your W still defines Crushed! Therein lies the problem my friend.

So how do we change that? We talk often about detaching on these boards. Many believe that one day it just "happens" - I disagree. Detachment is a process. It takes time. It takes work.

You need to speak about the kids right? Well then keep the conversation about the kids and the kids only. Any other topic can wait. Must wait. It must wait until Crushed know who he is and what he wants in his life. In order to come to that conclustion you need space and time (hence detach yourself).

Crushed stop trying to save your M by doing things to save your M. I am not telling you to give up. Nope. I am not telling you to fall out of love. Nope. I am not telling you to go test the waters and see if the grass in greener on the other side. I am trying to tell you so just stop. Stop thinking about her and what she is thinking. Stop thinking about what she will think if Crush says this or says that. Stop, sit back and think about Crushed.

What do you see in your future for YOU. What do you need to make YOU happy.

Have you ever tried to feed a scared animal (I am not calling your W an animal)? Have you noticed that if you sit still the animal will come to you? Have you every noticed that any quick movement or change in demeanor may scare the animal away? Sit still Crushed...focus on you...and maybe the animal will take the treat that you are holding in your hand.

The really cool thing.. is if you really work to become the man that you want to be...well they YOU my friend would be the treat the animal is trying to get.

God Bless,
Eric