You are upset your H doesn't come to you first with issues and goes to his mom. You didn't go to him first either. Have you chastised him in the past for this? and then you do it yourself? He knows you have a double standard here. You can rationalize it all you like, but you weren't fair to him in this moment at all.
You don't believe in divorce? And yet you go and talk to someone about divorce. People who REALLY don't believe in divorce go to a counselor or pastor or something like that. A professional who can help fix it first. Not to a colleauge.
You led him up to a very slippery slope and are upset when he started down it. You were very close to heading down yourself, he just was a typical guy and saw the writing on the wall and didn't want to be the one dumped. You got that title, and I know you don't like it, but really, there is a lot less guilt for you than there is for him. I'm going to be very proud to tell everyone that I DIDN'T start this. And the truth is more that I was not blindsided, and neither were you.
Thank you for getting honest. It means you will accept some of the responsibility of the breakdown. No matter WHAT the reason, we are responsible for our half, 50%, of what went wrong.
Forrest is right--you haven't done anything "wrong" and going dark for this long is great. You have given him a lot of time to think about what went wrong.
If you keep your anger at bay, toward him or his parents, you can probably have a very interesting conversation someday.
Could you leave a semi-friendly note on his door about playing squash? Make up something about needing another person for some reason? Would it bother you right now if he didn't respond? I don't think he will, it just would be a small gesture and soften him up for later...
