Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

We've done that to each other.

No, you gave somebody the power to do that to you, so actually you did it to yourself. Read up on boundaries and detaching.

Did you even read the DR?

Ultimately, you are responsible for what you do, and she is responsible for what she does. It's not healthy to own her actions, John. That's why we want you to detach, and you're just not getting it.

I guess what I meant to say was that we allowed each other to do this. That's what I meant by we did this to each other. I'm not owning her actions. I'm owning my response to her actions, which further gave her permission to do the same crap.

It will help if you go very dim (no talk except logistics regarding your son). Go consult with an attorney, and get that all lined up because you need to be ready to protect yourself and your son.

Already completed. Didn't want to post that here cause she might find it.

Other than that, right now you just need to let go of this "saving my marriage" stuff and get healthy again.

Ok. I am going dim until Retrouvialle in two weekends. I have said nothing to her about reconcile, don't plan to.