INTERESTED IN MLC FOR LBS

[ericmsant2]

Bobby,

I take it that you are the primary bread winner in your household based on your concern about the support issues. I am too and I do understand how stressfull it can be when YOU feel that YOU may get screwed. Trust me dude I get it.

Having said all of this, I want you to avoid the mistakes that I made.

1) Stop trying to talk to her about the D. Don't mention the impact it will have on the kids. Don't mention how YOU may be defestated by the D. Don't say a f*cking word. Nothing.

2) Regarding child support. It is what it is. You do have a responsibility to support your child. Most state use a formula - so she can ask for the world BUT it is the lawyers or the judge that will ultimately decide.

3) Regarding alimony support. You may have grounds to fight this to some extent. That is not to say that she is not entitled too some degree of support. And for the record, if you love this woman wouldn't you want her to be able to at least support herself? Our tendancy in these sitch's is to get pissed off, is to want to revenge is to what to be the victim.

4) Retirement - yes she is entitled to half of it. She is also entitled to half of the home equity and any other assets that you have. Is it fair? Well I don't know - you tell me. I know what I think but that's just me.

Bobby, you are not a victim unless YOU decide to be one. So do you want to be a victim or would you prefer to take back the control over YOUR life. Your W will make her choice, she will make the choices that she believe she needs to make for HER. You Bobby will need to do the same.

So, how does Bobby make choices? The answer to this depends on who Bobby is at his core. Is Bobby a pr*ck? Is Bobby someone who cannot recover from this? Is Bobby the type of person that will hold resentment in his heart? Is Bobby the type of person that will stand the f*ck up and say....I can do this - I can make it - I can survive? You tell me Bobby - what type of man are you.

Oh...that definition is not for me. It is for you. Be the man you want to be. Money is just that money...it does not define you. It never has nor ever will.

Bobby - you are 55 so I get your concern. I am only 40 so maybe I have a little more time to recover from this. BUT let me ask you an another question....would you rather have all of your retirment, have to pay no child support BUT be misserable OR would you prefer to be broke, have nothing BUT have love and joy in your heart. So much love that your W or someone other women would see that and fall madly in love with you. I know my answer Bobby - what's yours.

Finally, a year is a long time buddy...a very long time. Stop looking at her. Stop trying to figure it out. Just stop. Be still for a sec. Gather your thoughts, take this time as a gift to find yourself. Take this time to work on you. Take this time to come up with a game plan. Take this time Bobby...to figure out what makes YOU happy.

God Bless,
Eric