IHH... Your H is an ADDICT right now, he's going to be angry, aggressive, abusive, threatening, deceitful, destructive, wasteful, and generally USELESS in RESOLVING ANYTHING CONSTRUCTIVELY...
You have to go AROUND him to get wher eyou want to go... That's why I suggested you just move out... I could pretty much call his reaction to the syllable... People having affair's do CRAZY sh!t... There's a live thread on this forum devoted to showing people how crazy people engaged in infidelity get.. you should read some of those stories so you are prepared.
I am sorry he's being so difficult, but this is pretty much par for the course I'm afraid.
Do NOT
a. Talk to him about difficult topics b. Warn him about what YOU are doing (I repeat, do NOT DO THIS anymore) c. Accept living there while OW controls the building d. Allow him to yell, threaten, or make you uncomfortable - walk away when he does that
You don't try to negotiate with an addict, particularly the males, they can be VERY uncooperative and even NASTY.
You get OUT of there and you get a LAWYER to get all of this for you... do NOT try to discuss money, children, divorce, marriage, or infidelity with an addict while you are in the HOME ALONE...
Everyone tries this and the result is never pretty.
He's addicted right now and he's abusive... just get OUT of there... dont' wait for him to leave... YOU leave and get a lawyer to protect you for now.
I am not giving up on your marriage, but I will say it again
You CANNOT beat this affair LIVING there... that situation is NOT conducive to success at ALL.. don't even TRY to negotiate.. just stay quiet and get OUT of there.
