My question for myself is "Why do I believe that the opinion of others is more accurate and 'correct' than my own? Why have I placed her opinion/acceptance/value of me above my own? Why don't I trust or value my own opinion of my value?"
Is it this/- "This person loves me. They see the true worth of me. Therefore,if I fail in their eyes and/or they love me less, my value/worth is lower"
Because you haven't hit the point of self-validation. When you get there this won't even be an issue for you. It may still trigger here and there, but you'll quickly see it for what it is - bull$hit and ground back out into yourself.
CD this message came from your past. It doesn't matter where it came from, except if you are curious to know. Knowing the source of it doesn't do anything for changing it. It's knowing you have it that's key.
Why don't you trust yourself? Why do you think you aren't somebody already? It's all in the vein of the NMMNG message.
I know where my same message came from, I see how it shaped my personality and behavior, I see where it damaged my life and R's, I see why I used it as a tool to cope, and I see how to change it...and I'm changing it. I've come a long way with it but I still got triggered tonight by my W.
The difference is I saw it happening right as it happened inside of me and I didn't accept it or allow it to manifest. I turned and went the other way - another repetition of overcoming it. It felt great.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
