Geeez: I responded to your post this morning, Steady, but it is not here! ??? This darn laptop and it's deleting stuff... got to get that figured out.
Anyway, I truly did appreciate what you had to say. It's helpful to be reminded not to put any stock in what H does or does not do - how he acts or does not act. Whichever way it is, good or bad, it's surely to change, and often.
I can totally relate to not wanting a partner you feel you've had to coerce into being there! While all of us want our M's to work, obviously, I know I sure don't want H to stick around because he has to. My goal is to have a mutual R where I am wanted and loved, not just endured. That's key to remember.
Yes, I did want H to be happy about the dinner, but I made sure when I did it that I asked myself how I would feel if it made no difference to him. When I knew I was fine with that - I went ahead and did it. It was nice that he liked it though! I TOTALLY agree that you don't do that for a wayward spouse if they are treating you badly!!!!
As for finding the balance between "matching", playing hard to get, or initiating guestures... that's what I'm struggling with the most right now. So far, matching has been the safest move but I do wonder if I should do something else. ???
