My walk away wife story

[40andsadintexas]

With today being a normal roller coaster ride I find that I have several random thoughts today with one of them being on dating.

One of the last things my STBEXW said to me the day I moved out was that I was so disgusting that there was not one woman in the world who would ever give me the time of day ever. Talk about killing your self esteem!

Reading forums it seems like there is a major division on whether or not to date while DBing. I am not in a position to offer advice to any one, but would like to share what I have done and the emotions it created.
When my STBEXW dropped the bomb on be I bought Stop your Divorce, and also signed up for Homer McDonalds telephone counseling. Homer advised me to start dating immediately he told me this was the only way I would be able to save my marriage. He told me that I did not have to fall in love, sleep around, or anything else but I did have to date, have fun and enjoy it. I followed Homer’s advice and reconnected with the last girlfriend I had before I started dating the STBEXW. This girl and Myself had dated on and off for 3 years I really liked her but I checked out of the r because is was not going anywhere it never was and we both knew it. After my separation we went out and everything clicked we still liked each other things started going way to fast. I ended up staying the night with her two times. The morning after both times I felt sick, I could not believe what I had done, but I did it and there is no one to blame but myself. Since that time I have decided that this will not happen again until well after the divorce is final. The woman I was with said she felt just as bad as I did, and we have stayed in contact we have been out several times I really enjoy talking to her she is incredibly fun to be around but that is as far as it goes. I think part of the reason I did it was for spite, or revenge. Let me assure you that wont work my STBEXW don’t know and in all likelihood don’t give a crap about what I did, so I find myself with no revenge and guilt.
My one piece of advice that I will offer to anyone who wants it is date if you are ready, and you are doing it for you. But what ever you do don’t do it for the wrong reasons.
I know that my marriage is over and I also know that after it is over I will find someone who will love me for me, but I am not in a hurry and I really need to get all the demons I have built up over the last 13 years out of my system before I ever have thoughts about a new r again.
On the plus side Saturday night I was out with some friends, and met this girl who wanted me to leave with her I declined her offer but it was nice to know that the STBEXW was wrong.