I agree with TimeHeals that you should try to find a way to enjoy yourself. However I disagree on custody. She is making very poor decisions right now. Now, if those decisions only impacted her, that'd be one thing. Unfortunaltely, her stupidity is putting your kids in danger. I would push for full custody. I think it's all well and good for 50/50 when both parents are at least responsible parents. I'm sorry to say that your W is not right now. Maybe she'll come to her senses somewhere down the road, but right now I'd be affraid every time they're with her.
Be strong man.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs