When things are very damaged slow going is the best way.
Like you said, for a good part of your life (therefore I surmise for most of your daughter's life) you said you were very controlling. Just like it took you a long time to acknowledge and address the issue it will take a long time for you daughter to really believe it.
Slow progress is good but it has to be at her pace. Allow her to explore the new you so she can see for yourself things have changed!
