The phrase to remember is "only believe 50% of their actions and 0% of what they say".
You should never find a friend to make wife take notice. That would be using someone unfairly.
Even if you found someone, I doubt your W would be that relieved. Mine wanted me to find someone, but when I did, I noticed the jealousy and pumping the kids for information. And I think part of the reason she asked me right before the D was final for a second chance is the "want what you cant have" thinking. I got the feeling that if she could have worked it legally she would have enjoyed being married to both OM and myself.
Avoid the batchitcrazy that comes when someone is in the position your W has placed herself. She is in a fog.
Even if you found someone, I doubt your W would be that relieved. Mine wanted me to find someone, but when I did, I noticed the jealousy and pumping the kids for information
As my wife and our girls continue to hang out with OM and his children I keep a strong mind “not to ask to many questions”. Our girls have told me OM children’s names and their ages. My D8 told me where OM lives in the city.
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You should never find a friend to make wife take notice. That would be using someone unfairly
Yes ... you are correct that would be something I could not live with. I am a better individual than that. I retract that statement and apologize for my ignorance.
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Avoid the batchitcrazy that comes when someone is in the position your W has placed herself. She is in a fog.
I must remember that some of the choices wife has made lately are potential life changing and as you have said “ she is in a fog “ Some of these choices may never not be reversible, time will tell. I have made no contact with her in two weeks. She did send me some pictures of our children ( pictures I already had ) My plan is to do nothing, sit back watch and observe more of the choices she makes to bring this marriage to its knees. Comments appreciated. Stitch.
I had my girls for the week and went on a vacation to get away. Managed to not think about the wife and OM for the most part.
On the way home anxiety creped in knowing I was dropping my girls off with wife who was then going on a vacation with I would think OM and his kids.
My youngest D ran to mom, my oldest, not so much you could tell she was torn by leaving me yet wanting her mom. She would sway back and forth pulling herself from one parent to another. I did park a half block away from where she is staying not to get close to wife at all. No communication between us for three weeks all about the e-mails.
Ever since the OM was introduced to kids and acknowledged by wife they were involved I have stopped all conversation some three and a half weeks ago. Dark as can be with kids involved.
Anger and hate is all but gone….just worried about the kids. Love for wife has completely disappeared. Co parenting is first on my agenda….that is it.
Time to get out and meet new people and come out with my situation with all of my good friends and live my life.
To great quotes I read on the “SET them FREE” page here on DB
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LIFE IS USUALLY ALL ABOUT HOW YOU HANDLE PLAN B
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EXPERIENCE IS A BRUTAL TEACHER, BUT YOU LEARN. My god, do you learn.
Both quotes are up on my desk at work, I obtain great strength every time I repeat those lines…… Bizarre
Rant My sister inlaw has been looking after my two girls for the last 5 years at her daycare. Both will be going to school this come september along with a lot of other kids and my Sis in law want to have a farwell party.
My wife has been trying for the last two years to have the girls removed from her care and put into a different care facility. Since the sepersation and the fact I opened my big mouth and said Untie is there second mother, wife has been a bitch about removing them from her care.
Everyone in my family and all friends knows the story. It is going to be extremily hard for me to see her there knowing what she has been trying to do to remove the girls. I hope it is as painfull for her to be there knowing what she what she been trying. She has not seen my brothers and sis in lwas kids for almost a year. I will have to obtain some strength from somewhere to feel at ease that she is there. The great thing is, all the parents that will be there know the story so as she walks around with a perhaps fake smile on her face it will be just as painful for her. Tooshay
Well I just received my girls back from a week with there mom. Oldest 8 told me that they spent the week at grandpas cabin and low and behold OM was there with his two kids. My oldest said that mom said she was going to sleep with with us. Get out of bed thinking we were sleeping and left the room. I know my wife is in a full blown PA. Once wife picked up the girls and said where she was going I new she would spend the week with OM. I am so done...mentally and physically. I am so discussed she would try and pull some BS with my oldest daughter on where wife was sleeping. DISCUSTED... Done. As fare I am concerned there will be no friendship with wife .. all business...no more no less. Am I surprised no... are my parents suprised ..very. No more said. Not sad not disappointed not concerned not worried .........do not care.
As I had commented earlier. Sister in law is having a farewell daycare party next week for the kids who are going into school. Wife had been trying for two years to have them removed from sis in-laws daycare.
I see all of the mom’s and dad picking their kids up and I have been blunt about wife having an affair with a co worker and how this hole summer she has been flaunting it with everyone including the girls.( every time I say that line I shiver with embarrassment ) All are very worried wife has introduced kids to OM.
Found out just now that my wife has declined the invitation to the party. Absolutely no surprise there, as she is well aware of the secret and how it has been let out of the cage by me. The party is for the kids why would she not show her face, perhaps she would feel uncomfortable with Being there knowing everyone knows what she has done to our family. Again all she is worried about is her happiness, so self absorbed.
Yesterday she sent me a message when she was going to drop the girls off and that they would be fed. When she dropped them off she had McDonald food for them…… again. Every time she drops the kids off she sends this crap. I have had enough and set a boundary asking her nicely .. If she is too busy just drop the girls off and I will cook for them.
I will bet a million dollars once she drops the girls off and her so called food she rushes over to OM and they go have a nice dinner together….So self absorbed. Grrrrrrrr
I’m in a pretty pissy mood right now…hence the rant. STITCH
My wife lives on the other end of town with her parents. W e-mailed me last night asking to have the girls for the evening next Saturday, these are my days with the girls. I heard that my neighbor five houses down is having her annual neighborhood block party. Neighbor and w are close friends. I am not invited, but this is why W is asking to have the kids for the evening. Bet you she will be bringing the OM and my kids to the party to introduce (my neighbors not W’s) OM to her friend and all that will be attending. As the girls are mine this day, do I let her have the girls or do I say sorry….I have plans with them that evening. She can take OM to the party without the girls. To me it is not fare to the girls to be hanging out with W and OM. Why would she involve our kids in her antics. Leave the girls alone and just take OM. LEAVE THE GIRLS OUT OF IT stop involving OM when kids are around. GRRRRRR
Wife and her mom dropped the kids off last night. First time I have seen ex mother inlaw in almost a year. I wonder what she thinks of daughter having a OM in her daughters life, especially a co worker
Update It has been a month with no contact with the STBXW since introducing her friends my children and her family to her EA PA Co worker.
I drop the girls off where W is staying a half block away. I follow the girls on foot and stay a few houses back, once I we W open the door I duck out without being seen and disappear.
When she drops the girls off, I open the door my youngest comes in right away and I pry my oldest from her moms hands as daughter has clung on to mom and crying. W tries to have small talk I say politely thanks for drop off and into the house I go shutting the door behind me.
Dark as can be with children. E-mails only and I will only reply to questions regarding the girls. Even those questions may be so vague no reply needed.
