Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

IC session today was meh. We talked alot about the changes I am making and basically everything here has told me. Do it for myself. GAL. Don't puruse. Etc.

At least this MC is on the same page as me. I told her about last night and how W pursued me and she thought that was good.

I asked her what her success rate is in my situation. She said that W is still coming to counseling. And she is going to Retrouvialle. Those are not necessarily positive signs, but they are not negative. But from talking to W she feels that she is unhappy with the way the M has been, and doesn't see it changing and is scared that if she goes back into it the changes won't stick (basically what I thought). She says that as long as W is coming to MC, and I continue to make positive changes as the person I want to be for me, and she is able to get W to recognize and work on her own problems that contributed to this, she has a 100% success rate. But, if MC ends, or I fail to be the person that I want to be, she can't speak to any amount of success.

She talked about how getting a D just trades one set of problems for another. Instead of worrying about how you're going to please your S, work with your S, be loved by your S, live with them... you now have the problems of money, scheduling, emotional line walking, etc. She said that if W really knew what she was doing by seeking D, she would probably want to work on the M to fix her problems as I worked on mine. Even if we do D, we'll still have the same problems as if we were M. That won't really change. They'll just be more problems.

We talked about controlled separation, she's a huge proponent of it. But, since W and I have already agreed to a few of the harder issues (no dating) there really isn't a need for it.

She spoke highly of Retrouvialle. I told her how W was going just to communicate better, not work on the M. She said she didn't care - whatever it took to get her in the door because these problems need to be addressed regardless. She said it was a very good program.

Next MC is setup 3 days after Retrouvialle.

Time to keep going dark for the next two weeks at least. W has sent me an email saying I need to call and change the trash over to my name, and she's been changing cable, electric and stuff like that to my name today because I was autonotified by email. I don't know if she's trying to draw me in from not talking to her last night or if she's just taking care of business. Doesn't matter - I'm going NC either way.