Sad, but true. Or you just get to a point where YOU dont want to be with the type of women that could do that stuff in the first place and no matter how hard they chase you're done.
I haven't said anything to her yet. Just sent the flowers. When she brings up the flowers/sx, I'm going to tell her:
"Last night was wonderful," and leave it at that. And keep on with having her move out, on my schedule, with me leading.
That isn't leading.
PH.. You ALREADY blew it again...
The flowers alone is enough. No words can change that. Sending flowers to a woman says it all..
All women and MOST men know what it means when a man sends flowers to his wife, girlfriend or lover..
And of course NOW you are going to dig deeper because after the flowers you are "going to tell" her__________(fill in blank)
You don't get that you have become the feminine one and she is the masculine one... The feminine one always "wants to talk" about the relationship.... where it is going etc. etc..
You need to learn one big important lesson as a man..(who is getting dumped)...
SILENCE is golden..... mystery is your friend.... walking away proudly is your catnip.. rejecting her is your key to reconciliation.......
These are all things you don't seem to be able to do or grasp except in small increments of time.. Then you fall back into the pursuit mode... Scared to put her into a crisis of major proportions... even though it is crisis that moves us all to make necessary changes. (use yourself as that example)
I appreciate what how you've tried to help me. It's just really hard at this end; I think you know that too. There are so many things to worry about, and being afraid to make a mistake is my biggest problem. Leads me to try anything and everything.
I'm going to try to be smarter about this. I'm not good at relationships, but I need to be better at gauging and understanding women.
Thank you for not giving up on me.
I'm going to keep my mouth shut. Really shut. If she asks about last night, I'm just going to say that it doesn't change what I think I should do.
However, I have been helping men like you for a long long time and know what I am talking about. It goes against every fiber in your being to do what I say..
This is all meant to SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP....
To save it YOU have to let her feel like SHE somehow is getting dumped now...
Why?
IT WORKS.....
Women operate on feelings.. Her feelings says she isn't attracted to you.... The only way for HER to FEEL that you have heard her and understand her is to do what I said...
"WAW, I now get it. You are not attracted to me. It must feel terrible to think you have to stay with a man you are not in love with or attracted to. I don't blame you for wanting out if you feel that way. I would want out too if I felt that way about about a woman. I now get it. I can't possibly stay with a woman who doesn't find me attractive. Let's both move on. I am not sure what I feel about you anymore now either. I don't know why I haven't seen this before. I get it now."
THEN follow through on that.. It really is that simple and easy. You gain instant respect. Why? BECAUSE you have finally told her you have heard her. You have not tried to change her mind.. This is HOW TO VALIDATE... How can she NOT feel validated now? You have just told her that you understand what she is saying.. She isn't attracted to you in the right way and she is SCARED to hurt you. She is hoping you can get the message without her having to spell it out. (of course you are NOT getting it so it is slowly crumbling and drip drip drip)
When you tell her you "get it" and tell her it is now YOU who can't live this way either, instantly she secretly wonders if she is making a mistake. Instead of her thinking "how do I let him down easlily? she thinks.. "is THIS what I want? he HAS been such a good man.. He has always loved me... what if I am making a mistake?"
You have changed her frame of reference just by telling her you understand and that you are now going to let her go and be the INITIATOR of moving on down the road..
It will only work is SHE tells you she WANTS to be with you. Quit making it complicated.
I get what you are saying to PH, but can we just discount the fact that the woman who said she was not attracted to him just had sex with him? That could be a non-event or a major change in the dynamic. How can you tell the difference?
Stopped at a store to buy some shirts, spent way more when I realized that I looked damn good in them. Not used to that. And I've had 3 people comment today on how good I'm looking.
Tonight I might head out to the dance place and get a lesson under my belt.
I say...Do you. Go out with your sexy self, in your new shirts and have fun. You'll feel better about yourself. You'll stand taller and be more confidant. It's about you. As a female, trust me confidance is SEXY.
Doodi
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
It's been so long since I felt this good. Even with the 2x4s I got today, I feel fantastic. I look the best ever, tan, great build, healthy, and everyone is noticing!
Dancing sounds like so much fun, and such a good challenge. I don't want her to come, I want to go myself and have a ball without worrying about whether she is enjoying herself.
)