TOH - I remember.........There are so many stories that are similar. It's very very sad that there are so many of us, but there is comfort in knowing we aren't alone. I know about the what ifs........I know about the whys.......I still wish I could understand, but am getting closer to being able to accept that I will not get that understanding.
I've beat myself up over the last few years. I've assessed and accepted the blame that I own---and I know what is on me. At times I've taken on more than my share, added to my low self esteem and low self worth---blaming myself for being in this position. I think I'm finally at a point where I am ready to re-build who I am, and find some value in me.
Hang in there.......You aren't/weren't weak....we all do what we need to do when we can to help us move forward. You had strength to move forward and make the break that you needed. You still hold on to your memories, and that keeps you stuck-----that's why I'm stuck too. I know my memories aren't all wrong. I know what was true.
Keep working......on you.....in the end, that's all we have....
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
