Have had a really bad few past days. Migraine from hell for 3 days now, cannot sleep at night, bags under my eyes, waking up hourly crying.
This morning I texted H (I know, I know!) about how I don't want this D and how if he is happier being w/o me than with me, then while I don't agree with his decision, I respect it--that I love him so much I will let him go.
That was 3 hours ago and no response. Crickets.
It's sad. So many years together and now he's... where? Moving on. Without me. All weekend I kept feeling like all this is my fault, since I am the one who moved out. Maybe I waited too long to right this? Maybe he's met someone new.
I don't know. I didn't even go to work yesterday. Confined to my bed all day and kept crying all day long, in the morning, noon, in the shower, at night, waking up crying. I had a lab at class last night and felt hte tears welling in my eyes and had to stop it because my lab partners would prob think I am insane. I have a huge stress headache on the front of my head that won't go away. It feels like someone died.
We have court next Friday. I wouldn't wish D on anyone. Well, you guys can all relate, but for those who don't know it, I wish nothing of the sort on them.
My mother told me she went to look at some furniture this weekend (where H and I bought ours) and the owner there (knows our whole family) told her how sorry he was about me. I guess H had gone in there to buy all his new furniture and told him we're D'ing.
