Prepare for a wonderful discovery

[sage]

Bear with me while I babble...it bugs me that I wrote this:

That honesty was a fundamental building block of our r.

This is same old, same old stuff from sage and it's irritating. honesty IS a daily part of my m and to pretend any differently is to discount h's hard work and my hard work. This statement is about FEAR and a feeling of trying to CONTROL in an effort to escape that FEAR. I want to know what I don't know...feel as though if I amass enough facts then I can somehow protect myself from being HURT again.

but clinging to the old mantra only keeps me in anxiety mode, in "looking for more mode", in "peering at h with xray vision" mode...it gets me no closer to my goal of "honesty" -- in fact it takes me away from it. It adds stress to our daily interactions, it feels like crap to me, too. I can imagine it's no fun for h, either.

I'm NOT saying I've been on hyper alert but I have gotten myself mired in thinking that we're stuck in this area when we're simply not.

Sage