Thank you all, for the positive words and suggestions.
Approaching 3 weeks of going dark (this Friday). I had an awesome weekend with my sons, as usual it was tough to let them go. I don't think that will ever change - but I will be mindful of it and learn to accept.
I haven't seen the W in 2 weeks, I think. It sure helps with the "out of sight out of mind concept". Sure, I love her and miss her dearly - but I am adapting to making my days more productive...for me.
I have actually gotten an email and text from her, about the kids of course. But the strange thing was, it was stuff she didn't really need to say (obvious details about things). It was almost like she wanted to communicate with me. I kept my replies brief and on topic. I found myself starting to analyze, and 180'd right away.
I had my interview at the Senior's Home and all went well, I can start at anytime. When I walked out, I felt "light"...I felt good. I think that was the "wonders for the soul" at work.
I also had my first Meditation class last night. It was not at all what I thought it was about..it was the opposite...it was better. I was fortunate to have the entire session with my instructor..one on one. I learned a lot about Meditation and had a good chat with him. He has experienced a D as well - so it is nice to have another person who understands what I am going through...it helps me feel that I am being guided at a comfort level I am happy with. I will be continuing the classes weekly.
I think I am fortunate right now, that there has been no talk about the R or the D papers etc. It is allowing me to focus on GAL. I hope it stays this way for a little longer.
