When I came home from work, I put a movie in for my daughters, then asked my W to come upstairs so we could talk. I told her that MC wasn't working for us, and that I thought it best if we separate. I told her that I couldn't be in a relationship where the other person wasn't passionate about me; that I didn't think it was fair to either of us. That we weren't walking around eggshells, but broken glass. She said I'm losing my best friend in the world, and I said that I didn't want either of us to end up hating each other by staying in limbo.
She was crying the whole time, gave me several hugs while saying she was sorry for hurting me and failing as a wife. I told her that we both failed, and that we were leaving each other.
It took about an hour of talking including where to go from today. She was very sad, like I had dropped the bomb on her. It was so hard not to waver; the desire to was stronger than anything I've felt in a long time. But I told her that she wasn't strong enough to make this decision for us, so I would.
We talked about some logistics, then made dinner for the girls. I told W I wanted to go out and visit my sister, and she said fine. Spent about 2 hours at my sister's house talking it out with her and my BIL. They're very supportive of me.
Came home and found the girls out of their beds messing with the kittens while my W was in bed watching a movie. Straightened out the girls, went to bed and listened to my W who was having a really hard time. One thing led to another and we had breakup sx. Then we slept the rest of the night cuddling, which has never happened in our entire relationship. It doesn't change anything, though it was really nice to be physically satisfied.
The days ahead are going to be so hard; the desire to have her stay, will become overwhelming. But this isn't working. It's killing me slowly, and her too. I pray that she'll find happiness somewhere, and that God keeps giving me the strength, clarity and courage to do the right thing.
