Today is day 4 of NC. It was hard because I wanted to call him and say WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I made it through the day though without calling. I went to church today and spent time with the kids. Today was an otherwise good day.
You did well. One day at a time and all that crapola.
When you get that urge to call him, post here instead. Make this place your scream room.
Sad to say, it'll get easier every day.
Thank you for the encouragement. I am on to Day 5 of no contact. It is hard but I do feel like it is getting easier. If he is not calling me that means that he does not want to talk to me. So why would I want to talk to someone that does not want to talk to me or the kids anyway.
Me (32) H (36) Together (12 years) Married (3 years) Children (4 ages 11,9,7,6) Bomb dropped (November 09) Seperated (January 29, 2010)
Thank you for the encouragement. I am on to Day 5 of no contact. It is hard but I do feel like it is getting easier. If he is not calling me that means that he does not want to talk to me. So why would I want to talk to someone that does not want to talk to me or the kids anyway.
This is what I'm trying to remember to maintain my NC. He's not calling me, he's not calling to talk to D, so why would I want to just pick up the phone and chat with him?
Me: 24 H: 26 2 SS: 7 & 5; D: 3 H filed D papers: 8/2/10 OW discovered: 08/10 D papers counter-filed: 10/2/10 There is no method to my madness
Thank you for the encouragement. I am on to Day 5 of no contact. It is hard but I do feel like it is getting easier. If he is not calling me that means that he does not want to talk to me. So why would I want to talk to someone that does not want to talk to me or the kids anyway.
This is what I'm trying to remember to maintain my NC. He's not calling me, he's not calling to talk to D, so why would I want to just pick up the phone and chat with him?
Why do you think it is that they don't call? It is killing me not to call him. I think one of the reasons that it is irritating me so bad is because I talked to the OW on August 20th. I told her everything that there was to tell. My husband got so upset with me and I have never seen him that upset. He told me that he wanted nothing else to do with me. He was coming over every Saturday or Sunday for the six months that we have been seperated. Since I talked to the OW he has not come over. It has been 2 weeks and the kids are feeling it.
Me (32) H (36) Together (12 years) Married (3 years) Children (4 ages 11,9,7,6) Bomb dropped (November 09) Seperated (January 29, 2010)
Thank you for the encouragement. I am on to Day 5 of no contact. It is hard but I do feel like it is getting easier. If he is not calling me that means that he does not want to talk to me. So why would I want to talk to someone that does not want to talk to me or the kids anyway.
This is what I'm trying to remember to maintain my NC. He's not calling me, he's not calling to talk to D, so why would I want to just pick up the phone and chat with him?
Why do you think it is that they don't call? It is killing me not to call him. I think one of the reasons that it is irritating me so bad is because I talked to the OW on August 20th. I told her everything that there was to tell. My husband got so upset with me and I have never seen him that upset. He told me that he wanted nothing else to do with me. He was coming over every Saturday or Sunday for the six months that we have been seperated. Since I talked to the OW he has not come over. It has been 2 weeks and the kids are feeling it.
Ris may be right, he may still be steaming. I don't remember which thread I read it on or who exactly said it (maybe Puppy). A's are an addiction, WAS will do whatever they can to feed that relationship (something like that, forgive me if I've got it wrong). Oh course, we can't mind read . . . but maybe. It kills me too that H won't call to even check on D, but whatever, it's his choice, his mistake, his loss. Since busting him out on his lies I just really have no desire to cater to him anymore unless he can make a firm commitment to his family, this family. Of course, my feeling are still fresh on this since I just exposed and confronted him about the lies a few days ago.
Last edited by KellBell0820; 08/30/1011:55 PM.
Me: 24 H: 26 2 SS: 7 & 5; D: 3 H filed D papers: 8/2/10 OW discovered: 08/10 D papers counter-filed: 10/2/10 There is no method to my madness
Thank you for the encouragement. I am on to Day 5 of no contact. It is hard but I do feel like it is getting easier. If he is not calling me that means that he does not want to talk to me. So why would I want to talk to someone that does not want to talk to me or the kids anyway.
This is what I'm trying to remember to maintain my NC. He's not calling me, he's not calling to talk to D, so why would I want to just pick up the phone and chat with him?
Why do you think it is that they don't call? It is killing me not to call him. I think one of the reasons that it is irritating me so bad is because I talked to the OW on August 20th. I told her everything that there was to tell. My husband got so upset with me and I have never seen him that upset. He told me that he wanted nothing else to do with me. He was coming over every Saturday or Sunday for the six months that we have been seperated. Since I talked to the OW he has not come over. It has been 2 weeks and the kids are feeling it.
Ris may be right, he may still be steaming. I don't remember which thread I read it on or who exactly said it (maybe Puppy). A's are an addiction, WAS will do whatever they can to feed that relationship (something like that, forgive me if I've got it wrong). Oh course, we can't mind read . . . but maybe. It kills me too that H won't call to even check on D, but whatever, it's his choice, his mistake, his loss. Since busting him out on his lies I just really have no desire to cater to him anymore unless he can make a firm commitment to his family, this family. Of course, my feeling are still fresh on this since I just exposed and confronted him about the lies a few days ago.
I agree with all of you as well he may still be mad about being exposed. I wish things could be easier but that wouldn't be as fun would it (just joking). I have gotten over the urge to call him so I thank you all for getting me through today.
Me (32) H (36) Together (12 years) Married (3 years) Children (4 ages 11,9,7,6) Bomb dropped (November 09) Seperated (January 29, 2010)
I just had a quick question. I had someone in my family ask me why was I having no contact. I was doing the 180's and things were going good with my spouse and we were getting so much closer when I was doing those. Then when I spoke to the OW my husband got so upset and said that he did not want to speak to me anymore. I sent him that email saying that I was letting go. Then I started no contact...am I doing this right? I am wondering if no contact is going to push my husband further away since I was talking to him alot and spending time with him inspite of the OW. I was normally the one that called my husband anyway. Even when we were in a relationship I was always the caller he never really called me. So am I doing this all wrong? I have given him 6 days to cool off since I spoke to the other woman. Should I start back on my 180's so we can become close again and show him that I am the better option while I am GALing.
Me (32) H (36) Together (12 years) Married (3 years) Children (4 ages 11,9,7,6) Bomb dropped (November 09) Seperated (January 29, 2010)
You just said that he never really called you and you were always the one to do it, so wouldn't it be a 180 NOT to call him?
This, not calling would be a 180 right? I know it is for me. I'd say you should keep to 180's, GAL, and NC. Let him miss you, let him realize what he's losing.
Me: 24 H: 26 2 SS: 7 & 5; D: 3 H filed D papers: 8/2/10 OW discovered: 08/10 D papers counter-filed: 10/2/10 There is no method to my madness
