If she called today and said she has a lawyer and wants to fasttrack the process, I'd say "cool". Is it what I want? No. But I don't NEED this marriage.
Quick response: Sorry you are still dealing with her lies. She doesn't want to reconcile and even her preacher at her fake church can see through her lies. I mean, that's like being the cardboard cut-out in a room of fake Christmas trees.
Everyone can see through her disguise but her. You may want to pray that God leads her to the truth and find peace in her waywardness, but don't try to interrupt her path. She picked it. Let her travel it. With the OM.
Do you really think she's not returning to you bc she's going to see the OM unexpectedly or would have to go to another church? Ask her to name fifteen people by their first and last names at her church...bet she can't (actually don't ask her, it's not really a question for debate). She's lying still.
She's lying to you and to herself. That's what liars do. They lie.
Anyway, if you are lawyered up and since she's a head case in this fake church, you'll probably be having some wacky negotiations. One, know that it's going to cost you. I had to do that with my ex - even though he wasn't really spiritual one way or another. But I spent extra money hammering out the custody/ visitation agreements so the kids would be raised in the faith we agreed to when they were born.
Most lawyers are not very interested in getting down to the nuts and bolts of the religious aspect of child rearing after a divorce. There were a couple of times when my lawyer - a good one and a shark - wanted to focus on the $$$ negotiations - custody, child care, trust funds. I protected my assets but anyone can make money. It's not going anywhere and you can always make more.
But you can't take back your kids falling away from their faith if you have a parent who undermines how you agreed to raise them. Whatever you have to do to minimize your kids to your wife's fake church, do it. It will be the best money you ever spend.
Other than that, good luck. If you believe that God is good, then he's giving you a little miracle now. You are seeing what your wife is really made of - excuses - and you have been given an escape raft by Him. Take it. Go to the land of truth and joy. Stay away from her confusion.
