Tomorrow is the first day of school. This will be the start of the 3rd year of school with my children living out of 2 houses. Today my 12 year old son told me that he would be going to "your house" before open house tonight to get his clothes for tomorrow. My D13 told me that she needed to go too to get her clothes. It is all way too normal for them to refer to "mom's house" and "dad's house." How long will it take for me to think this is ok? I do my best to make my house a home, but to my kids it's "mom's house." This is NOT what I want for my kids. I want them to have a HOME. I am trying to make what we have left a family and for the most part think I'm doing pretty well, but it's all so wrong.....hearing talk about "mom's house" really really hurts.
I had to look through old e-mails to see if I could find some bank information that H e-mailed to me quite some time ago. I got stuck reading old e-mails and sucked back in to how wrong this all is. The last "I love you" was in November of 2007.....followed by an e-mail (the first of 3 or 4) asking for divorce in February of 2008. I still wish I could turn back time.
I have learned a lot about myself, I have made improvements and I think I'm improving every day, but......I'm still stuck. I still want another chance.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Di - Our stories are SO much alike. H and I both work in schools. 3 kids / older 2 daughters / youngest S is 16. When our girls were younger it was dance practice everyday and basketball for S. Your initial statements about how your identity was as a wife and mother reflects me exactly. You sound strong and committed. Does your H have OP? Has H filed for D?
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
I sorry for the funk you find yourself in. I have always loved the Fall, when school started back, leaves changing. We always had a Halloween party for our grandchildren, and this year it will be me alone having the party for them. Thanksgiving, Christmas, I can't think about it.
One thing I can tell you-it's usually Mom's house that is "home" regardless of how your children say it. Sad there are so many children out there for whom Mom's house and Dad's house is the norm. When the going gets tough, it's Mom that means home, and I say that with a very good relationship with my 3 stepsons. We would always be there if they needed us, but first the go "Home" to Mom.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
(((((Dianamo))))) My kids are in two houses, I think they actually think of both of them as "home", but they say "Mom's house" and "Dad's house" to differentiate the physical locations. That's my theory, anyway! (And I also agree with punkin, if they had to call one or the other "home", it would be Mom's, and I am ok with that.)
Thanks for checking. I'm not posting much, for a variety of reasons. I'm also busy, and in a new relationship..........with a 3 month old Golden Retriever named Harvey. The house won't feel as empty when the kids aren't there, I'm hoping for some added security when I'm alone.......and there's that guaranteed unconditional love thing.......
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Di- Glad you found a new friend and companion. My kids convinced me to get a puppy about 3 months ago. She is such a love...a lot of work but such a love. I hope the new addition to your family brings you lots of love and slobbery kisses.
