Yes, all good advice. Sadly, we have a separation agreement which says he has 50% custody, which is the usual in our state, but of course he has never taken, but always threatens me with. If I don't do things his way, he'll take S 50% of the time. That's what he is threatening me with now, and he wants OW in the house with them some of the time.
So this is why I do hand-offs myself - if I were to have my parents here, H would immediatly insist on only having S6 at his place only which means I can't supervise anything. My toss up is between having S and H hang out here, as they do frequently, and supervise as much as possible - or have S out of site with this abusive man, far too much of the time.
I would ideally like full custody, or legally supervised visitation only - but it's tough in this state as I said. I'd be lucky to get 80/50. Frankly, I don't think H even does that. He spend at most two hours, but usually not even that, with S on weekends - so he can be with OW. I have taken S because A) I want him at home and with a stable person who pays attention to him and B) I did not want OW around S which H would be casual about, I"m sure.
This has worked out fine for quite a while which is why I haven't wanted to go the Lawyer route which would mean at least every other weekend unsupervised at H's place - probably with OW and babysitters so H and OW can go out partying, as they often do.
However, I do not want to feel like H is holding this 50/50 thing over my head anymore. It's a way to be abusive to me. Things have to go his way, or he makes his threats. And if he is planning on pressing for this 50/50 thing anyhow, I need to be ahead of the game and ready.
PS the psychiatrist I've been seeing for my panic attacks (which always occur hours before I see H) says she would call child protective services in a flash. She believes I am being emotionally abused and this is potentially harmful to my son. I am scared to go that route becasue what if he lies (as H has done many times) and they take S away from me? OR from both of us?
A long time ago, when S was three months old, H and I had a fight and H called the police and had ME hauled off to jail, showing them a pimple on his neck and claiming it was where I had "attacked him" lol. They dragged me to jail. He has no problem doing this, you see. Oh, and then he had the nerve to claim I was the one who threatened to call the police and lie to have him dragged off. But that is what he did.
Does anyone have experience with child protective services?
I will def. ask the L tomorrow about that.
Also, since I have gone dim, the emotional abuse has stopped and Mr. Nice Guy has returned. This does not help my case to prove he's an abusive man. But my panic attacks were getting so bad, I had to do it so I could emotionally cope.
