On two ends of the world..

[ris]

I knew it was a bad topic to choose as an example! lol

[FindingMyVoice]

So. What do you feel and think about the fact that he feels entitled to tell you where and how to sunbathe?

And, the fact that deflected focus off his control issue by accusing you of being untrustworthy?

[ris]

FMV, thank you for your recommendations, I will try to talk to him about it once things calm down a bit. And thank you for encouragement too, it really means a lot to me.

The thing is, he doesn't feel entitled to tell me that. Regarding sunbathing topless he just asked me not to do it in front of him. It was me who said I didn't mind giving it up altogether.

Regarding the nude/topless beach, he doesn't want to forbid it to me either. The issue is that I have no desire of going there, but he doesn't believe that. (I don't know what issue he has with me not being open since he clearly knows me better than myself. Ok, sarcasm off.)

[TimeHeals]

Sarcasm is usually a little edgy. I was thinking playful--as in flirting with him.

I could be wrong.

[ris]

Sarcasm is usually a little edgy. I was thinking playful--as in flirting with him.

I could be wrong.

There wasn't really a lot of sarcasm in this particular example. Not trying to mind read (ok, maybe a little) but I'm a bit scared to go down the flirting road, with the recent "I'm not attracted to you" line. I think I might end up just setting myself up for getting more hurt that way, especially if he's angry. Trying to make him laugh somehow might be a good idea - if I could manage!

[TimeHeals]

"I'm not attracted to you"

OK, ouch. That stung a little.

Then... start taking really good care of you. Good nutrition, good sleep, good workout routine, go do things with female friends.

Have a ball without him

[ris]

Thank you for the tips TH. I am a very good looking girl (if I say so myself lol. But even H says that I'm the most attractive girl he would ever have a chance with, but yet he's not attracted, "there's something missing") but I think I lack confidence. But you just gave me a few ideas

I think that I gradually gave up doing things for myself, I'm talking about things like getting my hair or nails done, and I only did them for him! This was my mistake and now I'm going to go and do things like this for myself (esp. since he's not here.. but I'll be sure that he knows )

[ris]

After what has been posted here and on PH's thread I came to a conclusion that so far I've been a dog and H has been a cat

Comes running whenever called = me. Takes a message and gets back to you later = H. I could come up with a lot more examples.

So how do I go about reversing this?

[pinhead]

Purr

[ris]

Purr

and in terms of human behavior that is...?