Here's a story...of a very sad lady

[KellBell0820]

I've been thinking about this all day, is it fear or love? Or both?

I am fearful of failure, I don't like to fail, I don't like to give up.

I am fearful of having my standard of living so drastically reduced. I'm fearful of not having enough money to support myself and my boys.

I am fearful of being lonely, of having no one to call for help, of being sick without anyone to help.

I am fearful of never being loved again. Of never having someone "have my back"


I am fearful of being divorced, of being perceived as an angry, bitter woman. Of being an angry, bitter woman.

So those were what came to me today as I tried to honestly look at everything. So how do I separate what is fear and what is love? Can someone really love someone enough to let them go be with OW? To pursue their happiness with them?

Dagny

Dagny, I had to reply here. These are very real fears, ones that I too face. I can't say that I love H enough to just let him be with OW, but I do love him enough to want him to be happy, and to allow him to make his mistakes, whether he comes back to me or not. I think that's how I'm handling my emotions logically right now. I don't know this OW, but I do know that she has spent all his money, that she is changing him (don't know whether or not he wants to change), he is ignoring his kids, ignoring his family. I can't say all of these are due to OW but it certainly doesn't help.

You can't let fear hold you back though. As everyone else says (even you've told me), know your rights, know what you can do, what kind of help you will need (if any) and how to get it. Also know that it's not the end, you can't live your life as if the possible end of this marriage will be the end of you, it won't. You won't be giving up if you've tried your hardest, even if it means you let go and feel as if you did give up. Even if you come out of this sans H but with a newfound confidence and better ability to handle relationships (all of them); then you aren't a failure.