It is muscular stuff but rest assured at some point of your journey you become ready for it and then it desn't seem muscular or even very brave, just necessary.
Your H does seem to want to live in both worlds and that can drive you crazy if you let it. Letting go doesn't have to mean that you stop loving your H. It means that you stop being caught up in his drama, detach and move forward while puting the focus on yourself and your chidren. You acknowledge that you deserve respect and that he doesn't appear capable of that right now. You acknowledge that you deserve better and you don't wait for him to do better by you , you start to do better for yourself.
You can let go lovingly. No need to be bitter or nasty. Just firmly set your boundaries and let him know what you will and will not accept. It is easy for us to say this because we have been through a process to reach this point.
Now, how to regain your feminine confidence? Well, retail therapy always helps me out. If you can afford some new clothes, new shoes, handbags, jewellry. Whatever is your thing (maybe all of them are). You said that you are living in France so you must have that je ne sais quoi and sense of style down pat. Maybe a new hairstyle, new pair of shades or perfume? Primarily FOR YOU but he may also sit up and notice.
A day at the spa is always nice as is a do it yourself mani/pedi.
The possibilities are endless, really.
Keep reading. You will learn a lot. Everything will not work in every situation but you will definitely find a lot of take-aways.
