Here's a story...of a very sad lady

[Virtually_Handsome]

I've been thinking about this all day, is it fear or love? Or both?

I rather suspect it is some of each.

I am fearful of failure, I don't like to fail, I don't like to give up.

I think most of us understand that one. I think the key here is to show yourself that this is not your failure. I know if feels that way, but really, is it?

I am fearful of having my standard of living so drastically reduced. I'm fearful of not having enough money to support myself and my boys.

That's a scary one. That's why, even while you try to save your M, you should also be learning what your rights in the worst case are. Fear of the unknown is a killer. It may be that things won't be as bad as you fear. Which isn't to say they will be good, especially at first.

I am fearful of being lonely, of having no one to call for help, of being sick without anyone to help.

Well, to start with there are your kids. There are friends. Family. Probably a lot of people you never expected could be there. I think this is one of the fears that isn't as bad, once you shine a light on it.

I am fearful of never being loved again. Of never having someone "have my back"

Do you really think that would be true? I don't.

I am fearful of being divorced, of being perceived as an angry, bitter woman. Of being an angry, bitter woman.

The good thing about this one is that you get to control it! No one can make you an angry, bitter woman!

So those were what came to me today as I tried to honestly look at everything. So how do I separate what is fear and what is love? Can someone really love someone enough to let them go be with OW? To pursue their happiness with them?

Perhaps a better way of phrasing letting go would have been to use the word detaching... detaching your emotions from his actions.

(((((Dagny)))))

I am impressed at the thinking you have done today, really. All of those fears are real... but once you write them down like that, you can start to think about them rather than fear them.