Been lurking here a couple of days. So much good advice, and all around good thoughts. I read DB, what's NMMNG? H left 7/9, today is our 25th anniversary, we have one S 21,left me with all the bills to pay,and house to take care of. I told him I didn't want the house, too much upkeep, and I could do better in an apartment. I didn't tell him that angrily either, just stated the fact, he thought all along I would change my mind. I think he will be somewhat taken aback when he goes to the house and it's all different. I moved Saturday, and it has been better in some ways. New place, he hasn't ever been here, doesn't know where I am etc. Felt right, and still does. Anywho...he calls me about once a week, 3-5 minutes is all, very impersonal. He called last week to tell me he had been to a lawyer was proceeding with that. I mistakenly asked if it was too soon...He did call again on Saturday to see how the move went, but was not really interested I felt. He was also visiting his Mom, once a month trip, and that's the only time he calls on weekends, or evenings. He called from there last visit also, maybe he thinks o f me there, since it's a trip we have made together many times. Or not? Otherwise it's during work.
I like the squirrel analogy also, but I have never been a patient person. I am re-learning so many things! I guess I'm just rambling here. OW, since 5/09, although he denied until about 3 weeks ago, then it was like he couldn't tell enough people that he had her! He did ask S if he wanted to meet her, S was shocked, since H had told him we were having problems with our M. S is almost 22, but says H led him to believe that we would get back together. Oh, the dishonesty! I think that bothers me more than anything. That and him proudly telling all he has a girlfriend, not sure what that means? He is very proud of himself obviously, I say he should wait till the D is final before being too proud. OW is also M, but has in the last week or so separated also. She has a 9 year old D.
When he left, he wouldn't tell me where he was, like I was going to chase him down...LOL. I have since found out that he is living within a mile of OW. And I still haven't chased him down, and won't, too degrading. He told me he needs my address for D, I called post office, they will forward certified letter once, that's all I need. Don't think he needs to know where I am living. He was upset about that. He is still angry at times when he talks to me, like when he doesn't get his way. I have seen him 3 times since he left, and the phone calls were pretty much daily when he left, then have decreased. I think I may be wasting my time, and have really set my mind to making my own plans for the future. I only signed a 6 month lease, and will see where my life is at that time. Want to reconcile? Yes, think it's possible, some times, hope, not much H is very stubborn!
Just sharing, it's all still pretty crazy, but from what I have read, this is going to go on for a very long time. Good thing I have lots of supportive friends, and a very faithful dog and cat:) Thanks for reading, and any suggestions would be helpful and well taken!
Hello Babh,
I'm sorry you have to be here. It sucks. I will be happy to throw out some thoughts to you, but you might want to copy and paste your post into a new thread so that everyone can hop on and discuss your situation.
NMMNG is a book "No More Mr. Nice Guy"
Alot of us don't have patience as you have probably read. LOL
However, your attitude of not chasing him already has you being ahead in the game. Just focus on YOU and YOUR future. Get this thread out to a seperate post. We need more people on this forum with your attitude.
