Mandy, I had to smile at your posting....you are doing very, very well and that's all that matters. Enjoy all of the time you spend w/your son. Both of you have traveled a very long way over a difficult road, but you've managed to find your way...
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
