Thanks guys. I did change my front door lock. H still has a key to my garage which he hasn't given back yet. I have no idea when he took the recorder..It could have been missing for awhile- I just didn't notice.
Earlier today he told me that he wasn't giving me the recorder back- he was giving me $40 instead. I told him that it wasn't his to take and he needs to give it back. He then told me that he erased all the recordings and I could have it back. ARGGGGGGGGG!!!!
After some back and forth- I told him to just mail me the stuff that he had...he wasn't welcome at the house anymore...get me the divorce papers. He asked me to calm down and meet with him to exchange items..."like normal people"...and not thru mail.
Because I told him that he "stole" the recorder...he knew it wasn't his..he then demanded that I give him back the cell phone that I found over a year ago...the cell phone that he used with OW. (how I identified the A first time around) I just kept ignoring the question. I don't even know why he wants it after over a year. He said he is worried that I would use it to hurt him...meanwhile I have had for over a year and never did anything with it. The back and forth got draining today... I responded "I am not out to hurt you. However, I will NOT let you hurt me any longer nor will I compromise my needs or wants. Can't trust you at the house. Please put my stuff in the mail".
His response: "i am not trying 2 hurt u anymore than i already did. and will continue 2 give u everything u ask 4". I responded "Coming into my home and stealing from me is hurtful. You didn't do it with me in mind...you stole it with u in mind"..and then I couldn't take it anymore..
I lost patience...and ended the back and forth with "not participating in this banter. Mail me my stuff and get me my papers. Keep the recorder. I want this marriage over with. Done dealing with you"
I received several more texts about the f'n cell phone he wants back. I just ignored him. The the final text "Why won't you return my phone? if u cant see that concerns me...".
I won't return his phone until I make sure he files for adultery...like he said he would. I don't know if he will fight it or not...so I want to make sure I have something as proof. I know he is not going to make this easy. I would be very surprised if he makes this easy. He knows I haven't done anything with the phone to date..I think he was just using it as an excuse for him taking the recorder.
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Why do you allow yourself to be his pawn?
I know you know what he is capable of doing and yet you don't take action against it.
I keep giving him the benefit of the doubt..I know he doesn't deserve it. Like I have done all along. I always think he is going to change.
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Why are you passive to protecting yourself?
I have been thinking about this question all day. I'm not sure I know how effectively. I will let it go..let it go and let it go...until I get angry..and then it is too late to say anything- because the opportunity to say anything passed...and it wouldn't make sense to say anything now. I can at times..become passive aggressive too.
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It would be different if this stuff did not upset you but it does.
And it should.
What is it inside that makes you accept this?
Been thinking about this all day too. It has been bothering me actually. I need to give it more thought.
