You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[awest1217]

BobbiJo I am completely with you. As a teacher also, it is so important to be at everything for your child. Just because you only have the girls on Wednesday nights, you do have them every day after school so you need to know what homework they will be having, when projects are due. Maybe a project isn't due until Friday, but they will need to work on it Wednesday to finish by Friday. All those things are important.

Also with the parent-teacher conferences, I agree. I can't have the exact same conversation with each parent because each one will ask different questions so I may tell you something and not STBXW because of the way the conversation flows so it is so important you work TOGETHER!

I understand that you can't stand STBXW and it is starting to sound like you honestly are starting to hate her for what she has done, but you have to get past the hatred. It will take time for it all to fade, but by not seeing her and festering everything will only make it worse. Start with the orientation and other school functions. Keep the conversation strictly about the girls and what they are doing. It is better that you two can be in teh same room together and show the girls how to deal with people you don't get along with in a positive manner through example. What if D8 or D11 comes home and says she won't go back to school or sit in her class because she doesn't like Susy, or Susy did something mean and they aren't friends anymore so she can't be in the same room. It is not possible. You would tell her that sometimes you have to work with people you don't necessarily like, but you treat them with kindness and just stay away when possible.

Just lead by example. Yes it stinks and hurts and makes you angry, but as a teacher it is better if the parents work together, especially with D8, because otherwise your girls no matter how innocent you think they are, will pick-up on the disfunction and use it against you. I have seen it happen many times. Don't talk everyday or twice a week, but when school functions come and they are for getting information, you should be there.