During our MC, wife expressed how she was so afraid of me. That the changes I've made were still just for her, that they wouldn't last, that I'd turn on her and kick her out. Counselor is really good. He helped defuse a lot of the pressure my W felt.
One of the biggest fears of my wife is the loss of attraction for me. For a woman, it was surprising that she thought it was all or nothing; not related to emotional intimacy at all.
Another good comment W made was that she had finally realized that whether she chose to stay and work on the MR or leave, there would be lost of hurt. Even fixing/repairing/starting anew with each other would mean more hurt.
The counselor also talked about how relationships are built like a three-sided triangle; Commitment, Intimacy, and Passion, and how they effect each other. He also talked about learned optimism and how our thoughts and actions can influence emotions. I think he was trying to plant the idea for my W that her desire can return if we build on commitment and emotional intimacy.
