Thinking About Life after Divorce

[Thinker]

Hi Golfgirl1,

I wanted to make sure I didn't just ignore you.

...I would wait a bit to date
...they suggested you wait at least a year. You have to learn to be alone again
... I separated in May of 2009 and divorced in May of 2010.
...my heart is no longer broken.

To respond, I agree that you can't start dating immediately post bomb, and that you need to find yourself first, but... (and I struggled with it myself)...wait a year from what date?

How do you know how long is enough?

At what point does it cease to be productive time spent alone and just become another form of being "in the waiting place" (thx Dr. Seuss).

I got the bomb in November 2008.

I spent a year alternating between finding myself and trying to reconcile.

I gave up on the marriage and asked for a D myself in November 2009.

I wasted months in mediation trying to reach an amicable and equitable agreement.

We formally agreed that we were divorcing in April.

And then I waited another 5 months before going on a first date.

The legal process could potentiallly drag on for another year.

How long do I need to wait?

I've decided that I've waited long enough. I'm obviously not going to run off to get married again any time soon, but I'm more than free enough and whole enough to enjoy pleasant evenings talking to fun, happy and independent women.

Thanks for the feedback.