REally awesome post from the past from dear Acorn. Wow, I think I may cut and past that one for near future reference.
I'd LOVE for CJ and I to at least be doing a monthly "state of the union" check up...I mean things are pretty good but....
And RMC, forgive me for not remembering your whole sitch, but I have to share some of my experiences with you.
When OW called here and entered my world (a year ago Saturday) My world blew apart. CJ told me he didn't love me, loved her (I had no idea she existed), was leaving within the week to move across country to be with her.
Over the next two days I had him read some of DR (infidelity and depression)...I talked with him about this decision, could he live with it etc. He waffled twice, then reluctantly agreed to break it off and stay (our M was still very much in question).
I just KNEW that it was unnatural that he could "end it" that cleanly...that he didn't seem to be mourning for her. That there was NO CONTACT....
Sure enough, they'd begun talking again (behind my back)the day after it was "off".
Here's the thing....it was the next three months of daily conversations, e-mails etc that drove home to CJ just how controlling and crazy this woman was!!!
STILL, despite my DBing, despite our MC (going well) he was AFRAID to tell me...he kept trying to break it off, she would blackmail him (saying she'd call me and he figured that would be the end of our R)...he just kept hoping she'd find someone else (which she did, besides her H, but she STILL wanted daily contact with CJ!!! )
It was when he broke it off in Feb that SHE called ME again to spill the beans...fully expecting me to kick his sorry A$$ out...but I didn't. I listened to him, I decided to believe his story.
I DECIDE to trust him every day. Most days it's not hard at all. I think I have a strong basic trust (from childhood) that really helps with this.
If CJ were to reveal some horrendous double life again or more lies, like Acorn, I would NOT be devastated as I was for bombs 1 and 2...
)
