Don't share any info with your H you don't have to... THAT is the most important tip right now.

Re him being a stranger.

When a spouse is WAYWARD.. particularly a CHEATING wayward their behaviour will be quite different than NORMAL.. it will be hostile, difficult, aggressive, evasive, dishonest, etc...

I am not dismissing reconcilliation here, but you can't get there under your current arrangement.. you need to get OUT of there...

This will do the following :

1. Get YOU feeling better
2. That healthy energy will pass to your kids
3. You can get some income and stability in your life
4. He won't be abusing you anymore with his going out all night and being evasive and denying everything
5. It will also shake HIM up that you aren't gonna TAKE his BS anymore... It gives you room to challenge his beahviour and work on the marriage

you can't do that where you are now... seriously.. its not healthy...