Woohoo! Just got back from my road trip - got two paintings done today; it was fabulous. Just great to get out onto the road, crank up the music and put the shades on. Landscape was fabulous. Beautiful rolling hills and all the different shades of prairie at harvest. Can't wait to do it again. Planning to go again next week. Think I'll head towards the mountains this time.
Oh, and since H and I had the first discussion about it, he said to me yet another 2 or 3 times 'Well, I'll go if you want me to...'. Finally I got sick of hearing it and just said, 'Uh, no, I don't think I want you to come. I'd like to get some good painting time in..' That caught him by surprise! A total 180 for me. Petty? Childish? Yes maybe. But I don't really care. I wanted to paint and that's what I did.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Woohoo! Just got back from my road trip - got two paintings done today; it was fabulous. Just great to get out onto the road, crank up the music and put the shades on. Landscape was fabulous. Beautiful rolling hills and all the different shades of prairie at harvest. Can't wait to do it again. Planning to go again next week. Think I'll head towards the mountains this time.
Healthiest and most uplifting post I've read in a while!
Originally Posted By: FindingMyVoice
Oh, and since H and I had the first discussion about it, he said to me yet another 2 or 3 times 'Well, I'll go if you want me to...'. Finally I got sick of hearing it and just said, 'Uh, no, I don't think I want you to come. I'd like to get some good painting time in..' That caught him by surprise! A total 180 for me. Petty? Childish? Yes maybe. But I don't really care. I wanted to paint and that's what I did.
You didn't want him to come! Period. Petty? No. Childish? No. You wanted to paint -alone - and that's what you did! Brava! Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
You didn't want him to come! Period. Petty? No. Childish? No. You wanted to paint -alone - and that's what you did! Brava!
Thank you Gardener! I guess I'd been second-guessing myself once he kept 'asking' about it; worrying that he'd then feel rejected and that I was causing distance. But then I'd swing back to being irritated about how little he compromises with me about these things. Then finally I realized all I wanted to do was paint anyways! So I really wanted to go alone!
I also realized how tired I am of chasing him! I think I'll just chase my goals for a while instead. Not with the intention of just turning the tables in hopes that he'll start chasing me. Rather, because (like Time was trying to get me to understand) there's a future for me out there, probably with some pretty good things for me in it. If I keep focusing on him, how on earth can I see it?
Don't get me wrong; I won't start pushing him away. That's just the equally unproductive flip side of that pursue/distance thing we've got going. I'm just going to think about what I want and where I'm going, first for a while. Thanks again, Gardener, I appreciate your comments. It was, really, a truly wonderful day. Still glowing from it.
PS - note for Time: All day yesterday, if I'd feel a negative thought about H or sitch creep in, I just shoved it out of the way and thought instead about all the positive things I can do with my future; and made plans for something enjoyable I can do this week. It was very effective! It's much harder to dwell on the negative when you've got something fun and positive that you're planning for the future. Thanks again.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
PS - note for Time: All day yesterday, if I'd feel a negative thought about H or sitch creep in, I just shoved it out of the way and thought instead about all the positive things I can do with my future; and made plans for something enjoyable I can do this week. It was very effective! It's much harder to dwell on the negative when you've got something fun and positive that you're planning for the future. Thanks again.
Yes! Now, if the man in him ever says, "you know, I'd love to come with you, if I could," that's a whole 'nother thang! But only if you want him to.
Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
That does sound like an interesting experiment Time. The thought of 'homework' tires me a little, but I'm game.
Originally Posted By: TimeHeals
We can't change our past, but we can change how we view our past, and by doing that a little at a time, we can dramatically alter our future.
Ah interesting. Good thought. And interesting that as soon as I read 'we can change how we view our past' my automatic thoughts popped out 'but I don't want to change how I view my past'.
Which obviously isn't going to help me achieve anything. But interesting to see how resistant I am to the thought of it. Must be a self-protection mechanism or something. ie If I hold onto all those bad memories tight enough ...then when someone else tries the same thing I'll expect it so it won't hurt so much; or, ... then I'll be able to defend myself; or, the worst - if I forget about all the hurts it lets the ones who caused them off the hook.
So, I know that those types of strategies don't work and only end up hurting me in the end. So yah okay. I'll bite. I'll try your experiment. PS where did you find that? Sounds like something from Scientific American Mind?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
"The Time Paradox", by Phillip Zimbardo, Ph.D., and John Boyd Ph.D.
LOL! Yes I'm an 'eat the marshmallow right now' kind of girl. Sounds like an interesting book, but it got hammered in the reviews on Amazon. Do you feel it was worth the read Time?
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
Thank you Gardener! I guess I'd been second-guessing myself once he kept 'asking' about it; worrying that he'd then feel rejected and that I was causing distance. But then I'd swing back to being irritated about how little he compromises with me about these things. Then finally I realized all I wanted to do was paint anyways! So I 
