I learned an exercise from my C that helps me answer these sorts of questions (those that are deeply emotional)
1. Meditate on this - Pretend you are your best friend (not yourself as your best friend, really visualize that you are her)
2. She has told you what her H has done, is doing, and how it is hurting her children.
3. You are an outsider to the situation but you have an emotional connection to her. What advice would you give her? What are your reasons behind the advice. The advice must be specific, not driven by emotion but by common sense and a desire to protect.
