Originally Posted By: missher
how do we know when it is time to stop standing and "move on"?


I think the answer to this is when you have truly done this

Originally Posted By: missher
If we have done all the hard work, answered all the hard questions, and our actions are reflecting who we are


If your action to leave your M is coming from a place of love, compassion and understanding.

And

It is aligned with your core and what you believe.

It is not a compromise of any of that.

By that I mean

Why do you want to leave your M?

That is the ultimate question.

Is it because your W isn't responding to you the way you want her to?

Is it because you feel you have stood long enough and you feel compromised by her choices?

I would ask myself those questions why?

And answer them honestly.

It may be becuase of the reasons I suggested and that you make a conscious choice and own up to yourself that you just can't do it anymore

But

do it from a place of full understanding.

Don't lie to yourself.

You lie to yourself and you lose yourself

You believe those lies then you are f@cked.

For me?

My W does not want a divorce. We are deliberately not divorced.

I do not believe I am personally through this process as you suggest I might be.

I have been married once before. I know what didn't work. I do not have a desire to be with anyone else right now.

If my W wants a divorce I will not stand in her way. I have posted that already.

I don't know when it will feel right to move on. I do have an internal timeline I have set myself.

At the end of the day I still have hope, although it is a different hope then when I started this.

I accept that my hope includes that we may not reconcile,

... however, my actions up until that point are the only truth,

the only certainty that I know.

So really it comes downs to my choices.

I control the success of this.

I control my destiny and I do not intend to give that away

to anyone.

Not my W or anyone else.

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am