What's the Most Shocking Thing your WS did?

[Deep]

Allen, well eventually she showed the remorse, although not all at once, certainly not in the mourning period, and it wasn't an easy ride at the start, during, or even now.

She refers to that time now as a period where she wasn't quite sane, and quite literally. When we had both recovered from the most intense period somewhat, I asked her why she took certain risks, including sending our version of the NC letter via COMPANY email (she works for a large bank and OM is a top client). I'll always remember the way she replied, in an almost incredulous tone: "Yes of course it was crazy to do that, but I wasn't sane then, was I?" - with a silent (DUH!).

Oh, and I just remembered something that isn't so much shocking as funny in an ironical way. Past exposure and confrontation, W was at the mourning stage where she missed her true soulmate (OM) but was trying to stay for the kids. As she put it "Deep, it's not like I can't stand your face, I guess I can be not too unhappy living with you." That 6-9 months was bonesplinteringly painful. Which was when I got close to an OW of my own, a friend who found out about her H's cheating 1 week after I told her about my W, and threw him out within 3 days. Cutting a very long and complex story short, she was talking to me every day and flew out to meet me when I travelled for a business trip (she apparently had a sudden business trip that cropped up there too). No, we never did anything physically sexual. Yes, as Sandi and others hammered home, I was guilty of an EA, which is inexcusable too.

Anyway the funny part was how much this really ATE W up. Call it the extreme Gucce/Robx scenario or whatever but it probably helped burn her fog big time. Besides kicking up hell, she brought it up at many post-Retrouvaille CORE meetings, and more than once she said "Yes, it was really, really hurtful, but more than that, it was REALLY stupid. I can't believe that after all we went through, and what we shared, that Deep could actually put himself in a position to risk everything we built, and jeopardise our marriage and family."

Yeah. Duh