Yep, dsh. we agree. When we went to Retrouvaille, my H made it clear to me that it was his intention to live a happy life, either with me or without me, and to be appreciated for what he did for his family. I knew going in that was his stand, and I was thinking that with all his flaws, how could anyone appreciate him.
But over the course of the weekend, I started to see that he had good points that I had been overlooking. And after the weekend I could see him making an effort to be fill some of the gaps I'd identified. I have never failed to appreciate it him ever since. And though I had been less than kind to him for several years going into the program, I found myself in the position of the LBS and the one willing to go the extra mile to put the relationship back together. However, if he had not stood up for himself, I might have continued to treat him like a disappointment to me for many more years. Which would have resulted in me having an unhappy life, as well as him.
