WAW left on Independence Day and not communicating

[bustorama]

In other suggested apologies for hurts (e.g., Step8/9's in 12-step programs), they sometimes suggest a statement indicating that you are open to answering any questions they may have.

As part of the statement of full responsibility, it is also may be appropriate to include the admission that IT WAS WRONG OF ME TO....and YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS.

The step 9 part (which you are alluding to in your last sentence), is to offer or make amends. This is a tricky one with respect to DB because amends could be perceived as pursuit. On the other hand, amends also indicate tangible changes you are making (or are offering) and sometimes can help forgiveness. Your current amend (if you retain an amend) is too general ("working towards a better me").

My understanding is that they need to be hard-core concrete amends. (e.g., I have had NC with the OW or anyone/anything associated with the OW since ###, I have read books about infidelity to understand better the pain I have caused you and to gain insight into my own behavior in order that this will not happen again, I have begun seen an IC beginning, if they are circumstances or people you ran in that led to the affair and you have disassociated yourself from that environment, I will be transparent with my phone, computer, etc. use, etc.). The tricky thing about amends are: 1) are they pursuit?, and 2) do they just upset the person u are apologizing to more if they are not ready for that yet?. Others will weigh in, but you may be in best position to judge where your W is at presently with this. It's possible to offer the amends later if you think she might initiate contact with the apology.