I strayed, W kicked me out. Please help?

[bustorama]

I agree with what Deep is saying that OP (and other cheaters like myself) should be prepared to do extra work. But, I want to again caution OP based on OP's original message, you have to be careful and really listen to your spouse I think. If you apologize and express remorse insistently and aggressively, it will still come across to the spouse as it is all about YOU and YOUR FEELINGS and YOUR NEED to be forgiven and YOUR WANT to have her back. And what can be less attractive and selfish than someone who hurt you and violated you whining at your doorstep, ME ME ME ME ME, I'M SORRY, LOVE ME ME ME ME ME.

I agree that it's imperative in some way for you to communicate to your spouse that you are so sorry you hurt her, betrayed her, humiliated her, and violated her trust. And that she did not deserve it. No one does. But you have to listen to them and, if at all possible, let them set the conditions or open the windows in which you communicate your remorse. If you do it too aggressively, it is still all about you and not about HER feelings.