My walk away wife story

[40andsadintexas]

You know finding out your spouse is having and affair is pretty tough, but in the last 10 days I have found out about om2, om3, om4 how many more can she drag up is there no end to it. Jees I'm just at a loss for words and the only thing I can think about is getting my kids away from her. I don't even know if om2-4 could be considered affairs, I really don't care I just want my kids away from this. Does anyone have any ideals how to get a fire built under my lawyer to speed up the proces? In the last 4 weeks she has introduced my kids to 3 men not counting om1 who they met back in May it don't seem like we would get a better chance than this from what I've been told she is doing everything wrong.

[dsh4320]

when is your first court date?

[40andsadintexas]

After I counter sued we were supposed to go on 7-12-10 her lawyer got a continuance and we have never set a new date. Her lawyer has not evenfiled the temporary orders. My lawyer is now waiting for the judge to sign the orders for my kids to have a court appointed advocate he said we can't move forward with out that. The paper work has been setting on the judges desk for 3 weeks.

[40andsadintexas]

Journling

I have written a letter to my lawyer that I will take to him in a few minutes it is 2 pages long and explains how in the last 37 days my wife has introduces 3 men she is involved with to my kids, pictures from the OM #4 car setting at my house @ 1:30 and 7:30 in the morning and told how my wife took my daughter to lunch yesterday and met OM #4 how my daughter told me his name and it matched the license plate look up I had run.
I wrote how when the kids showed up to my house the STBEXW had all 4 kids in her Camero (4 Passenger car) with no car seats and my 7 year old and one of the twins sharing a seat belt. I wrote about how we have a Yukon XL kid transporter so all the kids can be in back seats where is safer. basically I telling my lawyer to get aggressive she cant act this stupid for long
Just mad and venting the last 2 weeks she has lost her mind!!

[40andsadintexas]

Journaling

If I live to be 100 I don't think I will ever understand my STBEXW. Yesterday I worked late and did not get home at a normal time, when I left work I noticed that I had a missed call from her I called to see if my kids had tried to call me, and she said no she had that she had. She then started telling me about some credit stuff and asking my advice. I was nice and gave her the obvious answer (my first grader would have gave her the same advice) told her I was going into the store and had to go I wasn't I just don't feel like being friends with her, but I have to be nice and pleasant for now because I am getting more access to my kids. Any way when I got home I found 3 messages she had left on my phone I did not respond. I went riding my bike and did not get back until late. About 10 My D10 called me and talked for a minute then she started asking me what I was doing, and ask me where I had been I'm pretty sure her mom put her up to asking the questions because she told me she was laying in bed with mom.
She is messing around with every man who will give her the time of day, we are in a custody fight that I am escalating almost on a daily basis, and now she is trying to contact me and getting my my kids to dig for information. Why, Why would she care what I'm doing. I care about what she is doing because she is involving my kids, and I want my kids.
She wanted out of the marriage, she has never looked back for one second, she has even changed her name on facebook, OK I get it, but why when I am getting as far away from her as I can why does she call just to talk???

[TimeHeals]

If I live to be 100 I don't think I will ever understand my STBEXW.

Well, even in good times... I think it's the kiss of death to think you will ever understand women Magical creatures.

The trick is being OK with that. Stick to your guns on custody stuff and start out with 50/50 and then go for what is going to be best for the kids from there (depends on stability of both homes IMO).

Enjoy yourself. Even try to enjoy this legal process. Just do what you have to do, make the plans you ought to make, take care of what needs taking care of, and have the best time you possibly can have with it all. Don't fight the changes You're going to be better than OK.

[Coach]

She wanted out of the marriage, she has never looked back for one second, she has even changed her name on facebook, OK I get it, but why when I am getting as far away from her as I can why does she call just to talk???

She's pursuing you. She interested now. You stopped pursuing her. Stay dark.

[A_goodman]

40,

I agree with TimeHeals that you should try to find a way to enjoy yourself. However I disagree on custody. She is making very poor decisions right now. Now, if those decisions only impacted her, that'd be one thing. Unfortunaltely, her stupidity is putting your kids in danger. I would push for full custody. I think it's all well and good for 50/50 when both parents are at least responsible parents. I'm sorry to say that your W is not right now. Maybe she'll come to her senses somewhere down the road, but right now I'd be affraid every time they're with her.

Be strong man.

[40andsadintexas]

If I live to be 100 I don't think I will ever understand my STBEXW.

Well, even in good times... I think it's the kiss of death to think you will ever understand women Magical creatures.

Yes you are 100% correct anyone that thinks they have women figgured out are in for a major shock. I think thats how most of us men ended up here

She wanted out of the marriage, she has never looked back for one second, she has even changed her name on facebook, OK I get it, but why when I am getting as far away from her as I can why does she call just to talk???

She's pursuing you. She interested now. You stopped pursuing her. Stay dark.

Coach if I were married to a normal person I would agree with you, but I think MSTBEXW is a little (Ok a lot) more of a pain in the *## than most people here are dealing with. My brother told me she misses her punching bag and would like to get a few more shots in before were through  I think he might have point. Thanks for the advice on staying dark that is my plan, I feel much better when I don’t have to interact with her.

40,

I agree with TimeHeals that you should try to find a way to enjoy yourself. However I disagree on custody. She is making very poor decisions right now. Now, if those decisions only impacted her, that'd be one thing. Unfortunaltely, her stupidity is putting your kids in danger. I would push for full custody. I think it's all well and good for 50/50 when both parents are at least responsible parents. I'm sorry to say that your W is not right now. Maybe she'll come to her senses somewhere down the road, but right now I'd be affraid every time they're with her.

Be strong man.

Right now we are working joint custody with me having the power and her having visitation. At some point forward when she starts acting like a normal person, regains some of her morals I will not have a problem sharing the kids with her on a 50/50 split. I have no intensions of ever getting back in the position where I am now where she has all the power that will not work she has proven that time and again. Its kind of funny but the harder I fight her the more access I have to my kids. So I may not be divorce busting ( That’s Hopeless)but many of the things in DR still apply so keep doing what’s working!!!

[40andsadintexas]

With today being a normal roller coaster ride I find that I have several random thoughts today with one of them being on dating.

One of the last things my STBEXW said to me the day I moved out was that I was so disgusting that there was not one woman in the world who would ever give me the time of day ever. Talk about killing your self esteem!

Reading forums it seems like there is a major division on whether or not to date while DBing. I am not in a position to offer advice to any one, but would like to share what I have done and the emotions it created.
When my STBEXW dropped the bomb on be I bought Stop your Divorce, and also signed up for Homer McDonalds telephone counseling. Homer advised me to start dating immediately he told me this was the only way I would be able to save my marriage. He told me that I did not have to fall in love, sleep around, or anything else but I did have to date, have fun and enjoy it. I followed Homer’s advice and reconnected with the last girlfriend I had before I started dating the STBEXW. This girl and Myself had dated on and off for 3 years I really liked her but I checked out of the r because is was not going anywhere it never was and we both knew it. After my separation we went out and everything clicked we still liked each other things started going way to fast. I ended up staying the night with her two times. The morning after both times I felt sick, I could not believe what I had done, but I did it and there is no one to blame but myself. Since that time I have decided that this will not happen again until well after the divorce is final. The woman I was with said she felt just as bad as I did, and we have stayed in contact we have been out several times I really enjoy talking to her she is incredibly fun to be around but that is as far as it goes. I think part of the reason I did it was for spite, or revenge. Let me assure you that wont work my STBEXW don’t know and in all likelihood don’t give a crap about what I did, so I find myself with no revenge and guilt.
My one piece of advice that I will offer to anyone who wants it is date if you are ready, and you are doing it for you. But what ever you do don’t do it for the wrong reasons.
I know that my marriage is over and I also know that after it is over I will find someone who will love me for me, but I am not in a hurry and I really need to get all the demons I have built up over the last 13 years out of my system before I ever have thoughts about a new r again.
On the plus side Saturday night I was out with some friends, and met this girl who wanted me to leave with her I declined her offer but it was nice to know that the STBEXW was wrong.