I strayed, W kicked me out. Please help?

[Deep]

I really like your post knittedscarf, it brings up many relevant and salient points even if the path you have chosen to take may be different from many on here.

IWS - I hope I'm not coming across negative, but really, are you serious?

The number 1 thing the betrayed spouse would look for, the starting point towards even thinking about reconciliation, is remorse, and I frankly don't see an iota of that in your posts.

Knitted is right, this is still all about you and what you want.

Sure, you're sorry, but from here it sounds like you're sorry you got caught. Sure, you would like your M to heal, but it sounds like it's just inconvenient if it doesn't. Sure, you would like your W to stay, but only if she would make the effort to stay, and God forbid you might actually have to put in some work.

Don't just "do what you can" to try to save your M if you're sincere. Afterall, if your W doesn't feel she can forgive you right now, your stance would be for her to do more than "what she can" right?

"My thought is with her mind so set, I should just leave it alone."

If you project an attitude like that after what happened, your W would be ill-advised to take you seriously. I think LRT, DBing, and GAL etc all have their own utility value and they DO work. But they do NOT work indiscriminately. Sometimes, I do believe you need to really put yourself out, and make full efforts to re-connect with the spouse. The only time when this backfires for sure is when the spouse is too deep in the WAS fog.

Nobody here should take potshots at you or shoot you down, but you have to realise that remorse is really critical. We're all human, but I think even God expects repentance before you can receive mercy and forgiveness.