WH didn't exactly suggest therapy, but tried to reiterate that he wasn't sure what he wanted. (I've been working for about 4 hours, so some of the conversation has drifted away from me and I have to pull it back.)
He said:
+ I said in the email that he didn't want to delve inward to do therapy, and that was actually true. Because for the past six months he's been really inward with his therapist and he doesn't think he has the 'energy' to do any more right now. + He wants to raise little girl together, since she's ours. (He's trying to push the new man out already and he's not even here yet! Course I am pushing him in.) I said he'd be extra. + I'm wanting to do therapy now, but this is what he wanted to do back in January. (I said he couldn't just throw on me a book "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" with a controlled separation and expect me to be like, 'okay'!) + He wants both of us to be happy. I said I could be happy either way. And then I said I thought he would be UNhappy either way! And he actually agreed. He said he learned that about himself in therapy.
CUPCAKE WARS IS ON, YEAHHHHHHH!!!!
He tried really hard not to cry. He got my message loud and clear that I felt like he was using me because he kept saying "I'm not being emotional to influence you; I'm sorry, I'll stop" etc etc. He didn't cry too much.
I told him the story about Jason Alexander. I said this week, though, I was REALLY not into making anything work. (I stopped short of saying that it was fully 100% over.) That it would be therapy and friends, or no therapy and no friends.
He said that he was going to try to let me go.
I don't know why he really wants to tell me these things. I guess I already said that he is using my friendship... but I guess what I learned today is that I'd still go to therapy with him. But we are so not there.
I guess I'm thinking about being friends with him a little longer. Because as I said to him when he left, if we do nothing right now, we are deciding to divorce. We will drift farther apart. He said he knew.
Ah ladies, I caught a piece of twine in the rope...
