Since I am going to be gone today, how should I react if she starts calling and asking for help with the computer, the printer, the lawn tractor, whatever? Should I help with these things.
I know not to respond immediately to calls and texts, but ultimately, if she is asking, do I help or say I'm busy and will help when I can?
I think this is going to start to get interesting.
I can only tell you what I did, I helped her move heavy stuff, and the washer and dryer, but anything else she needs to figure it out. I didnt jump at what I helped her with when she needed it done, I did on my time.
From a woman's perspective, I think she planned it this way,ie..the food. She knew she was going to be gone with the kids and you were going to be there by yourself. She didn't see the need to stock up before she left to be nice to you. I'm not sure the message you want to send is "thanks for kicking me out. here's a full pantry." If you want to do something, offer to take the kids to your house when she gets back.
As far as asking for help, I think she may surprise you and take care of it herself.
Just got in from camp. I'll post more later, but wanted to wish you well on your first day. I agree with bluestar btw. Take the kids out to eat. Then hit the park or something. If she says anything about the fridge, you can honestly say you were too busy to address it.
Good luck buddy.
ADAPT. OVERCOME. IMPROVISE. -Tom Highway
Me: 43 W: 40 S12 & S9 Married 17yrs Together 20yrs
First nite in my new house. Very lonely here. I still have a lot to do, but I don't feel like doing any of it.
W called immediately after she got home to gripe about a small end table and plant stand that I took. Said they were on her list. I told her that I wasn't keeping that close of track and that she already had everything she needed to get by and I needed the table. I would bring it back to her and take 1/2 of the potted plants then. Also said that we hadn't counted the microwave of the spices and other cooking supplies. She finally responded that I was right and to keep what I have. Still have half a mind to leave the table and plant stand on the porch just to prove a point!!!!! This just pisses me off to no end.
I have the kids on Wednesday nite, first day of school. W offerred to pick them up from school, but I told her that I would do it. Neighbor's W told me that kids can stay at her house after school until I come home from work. People have been so good to me that I can't even believe it. I don't deserve it.
Had my old neighbors over to swim in the pool this afternoon. We had a great time. It was like 90 degrees here today. VER"Y hot. Glad I moved yesterday or we all would have died.
AG. Hope you had a great camping trip. Thanks to everyone for their support. I'll find a way to get through this somehow.
Ok. Gotta get some sleep tonight. Very tired from all of the moving.
Thanks for the continual support LSG. It really helps keep my spirits up knowing that there are so many people helping me and rooting for me out there.
You hang in there too. Things will get better for you, hopefully soon enough. Good luck with that job search. I know it is tough, but you've got to keep pushing on.
Thanks guys. BTM, that means A LOT coming from someone with your tenure. I feel like I am pretty much beyond this now and think I have completely detached from W. It is surprising to me how fast that happened once I finally came to my senses. It seems that it should be MUCH harder letting go of a 23 year relationship. I really don't know anything else except this. I have finally decided that this IS my life and I am going to be happy with whatever life deals me. I know I will gat through and have a good life.
It has really helped that my kids have been so good about this. They seem to have their heads on straight about all of this so far, but the tough part will come now that I am actually out of the home and they have to split time. They seem very prepared to do it though and it helps A LOT that I managed to find a great new home for us to live in.
