Thx. I'm still getting wisdom from the wound...it hasn't been easy, but it's been the right choice.
Also, to the OP. You said that you had a marriage that had a low sex frequency and you just made out with the woman you cheated with. Of course, I don't know your situation personally, but I think you are lying.
A middle aged man who doesn't feel sexually fulfilled suddenly has a woman who is willing to have sex with him...and he walks away? I have a hard time believing it.
Now, I understand if you are making your situation vague in case your wife or someone you know might find this thread, so you are presently a limited view of what happened.
But I promise what will help you is to write out - "I had an affair."
Or "I slept with (her name)."
It's a really hard thing to do. Another good thing is to physically write out "I cheated on my wife."
Make it real.
One of the major breakthrough in my divorce was admitting
'[Husband's name (say John, not his real name] cheated on me."
Others
John lied to my face. John denied having sex with another woman. John had sex with another woman. John cheated on me. John cheated on our children. John is not in love with me.
It was one of the most important things...kind of like Harry Potter. Instead of making the affair He Who Must Not Be Named and giving it power by not mentioning it by name, saying Voldemort made it real to tackle. (my kids and nieces and nephews love Harry Potter)
So writing
I cheated on {your wife)...it will be a big step forward.
You don't have to post it online. You can write it on the back of a grocery receipt. But write it down. Make it real.
