So...I don't have any better words of wisdom for digging in deep through all of this. I guess the hard part when you're in the depth of the struggle is this: you mentally know all the things you should/shouldn't do or should/shouldn't be thinking of, but feelings are feelings. We all have them. We all have good days and bad days - days where we feel so strong we don't think we'll have a bad day again then, WHAM! There it is.
I think the best defense against the bad day blues is to know they're going to be there. Prepare for them. Have some coping mechanisms in your back pocket to deal. Everyone is different in this regard as to what works.
Personally, I used to think not crying was a sign of strength. Then I realized I was internalizing my sadness which wasn't good either. I've found a happy medium in that I allow myself a set amount of time for tears if I feel I need a "cleansing" and then I make myself stop it. I give myself 15 minutes - usually in the shower - then it's time to move on. Sometimes a good cry is all I need and it's healthy. Other times, I still feel down and have to do something else.
Here again, it depends on what works for you. Some people like to read - whether it's the bible or some other book they've found strength in, such as DR or DB. Maybe it's something that gives hope, maybe it's something empowering.
Music is a strong one for me: if I need encouragement, I have a CD for that. If I want some kick-booty music that screams, "I'm better than this!" I have a CD for that too!
Another coping tool is prayer or meditation. Sometimes it's calling or emailing a friend. Sometimes it's going out to do something, or maybe getting the mind too busy to be depressed by focusing on a skill. I play piano so I know it helps to try out a new piece of music. It may be terrible to listen to - but my mind can't focus on my problems while I'm learning a new tune!
There's something to be said for sadness. It's part of us and we see it as such a bad thing, but it isn't always. It's an opportunity and has its place in our lives, like it or not. We try like you-know-what to avoid it, but we just need to learn to use it for our benefit. Some of the world's greatest works of art have come because of someone's state of melancholy.
As a sidenote: sometimes if we get busy doing something for someone else that can help too, but there's also real validation for all of us on these boards to have the blues - and nothing wrong with acknowledging that and saying we have a right to it.
Of course, if someone is sad for too long and not coping well, that's a different story!
Anyway, I just wanted to put that out there. In our app crazy world it would sure be nice to say, "SAD? Depressed over your wayward spouse??? There's an app for that!" BUt...there's not. LOL
