New here but learning slowly. Advice appreciated

[Albuquerque]

Thanks for the kind words Punkin. I know I didn't DO anything. The ultimate blame for him leaving is his alone. He knows I was open to anything in order to save the M. But he chose to go. I don't necessarily "blame" myself but do accept responsibility. I'm not completely sure the difference but I think it's subtle. I didn't do anything intentionally to damage the M. He has done that and has been unwilling to look back.
I would very much like my M back but realize intellectually that there is no guarantee. Knowing it intellectually and dealing with it emotionally are very different things though. I still struggle every so often and get into "hopeless" modes. This forum has been a real help to keep me focused and on task with taking care of MYSELF.