Our weekend getaway was great....totally unplugged and let all the negative thoughts out of my mind....hardly thought of HIM at all. When we came back my GF made a very nice B-Day dinner for me, it was just the four of us 2 moms & 2 D's....had a very nice celebration with cake and champagne. H texted me a Happy Birthday with a smiley face also sent me birthday wishes on Face book and called me at night to wish me Happy Birthday and ask how our trip was and what we did.
....well that was yesterday....today I had a business meeting with him....2 & 1/2 hour meeting ... and that was awful. I was very realistic about our situation....and bluntly told him everything that needed to be said about our financial situation, about his work habits, his time away, that his "meditating" will not save the business and unless something drastically changes very soon the business is facing bankruptcy....
It wasn’t a pleasant discussion....he felt that I was accusing him and blaming him, got angry with me, I got angry, then I cried......not sure if we solved anything....he is just not getting it and every time I brought up an issue....like him being out of town every month for 2 weeks, he would get into defensive and start arguing with me that it’s not true....that he is not away that long. When I asked to please inform me as his business partner when he is leaving town and coming back so I can plan appointments....he would say that it doesn’t have any impact on business and he doesn’t seem to think that he should tell me.
Many things were said back and forth....He was arguing that every time he is away with OW he is "working hard" I asked him to recap to me what he did in the past 2 weeks when he was away...he got angry and shot back that I should have been doing more marketing....of course that got me angry....how dare he... I'm a single mom now stuck here with everything...personal and business while he is living his fantasy life and he tells me that I should do more?????
To make a long story shorter....he is not giving me any help, idea's or answers, he just wants to continue in business as before and hope for the best....said that he doesn’t have a plan B....and said that he “believes” that it will turn around....when I asked HOW? he would say “I don’t know” but I have to believe that it will. And that my problem is that I don't believe...I'm apparently negative.....
I'm certainly not negative....I stayed working with him...how many other abandoned spouses would want to do that....and I've been hoping and praying and working hard since he left in January.....
I told him that I need more then to "believe". I asked him to give me a proposal how he plans to increase business....that I’m willing to give it a last push if we could make a concrete plan of action. He said that he “won’t be making any proposals to me”....finally we agreed to meet tomorrow to talk about a plan......
Don’t know if I accomplished anything by unloading....because I did unload....just dumped all the frustration, stress, hurt at him....not good DBing....but I don't care....it will either shake him up or send him deeper into his tunnel. I even said that if I wasn't dependent on the business, I wouldn't care if I ever see him again and that it would be easier if he moved away to be with OW.....To that he replied "What do you want me to do? Jump off the bridge?....that would be easy to do"
I’m so stressed out right now....need to calm down and pull myself together and go to dinner at his dad’s in couple of hours.....
Hope everyone else has a nice weekend....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
