Where does the WAW go

[Doodi]

@ FMV
Thanks for your support. I haven't read that book but I'll have to look into it. I hope you stop by often, even if you don't feel like you should give advice, because it's always good to feel like you're not the only one going through things.

@ Greek

Personal question? Like we don't put it all out there already. But to answer you, yes we are on 2 different planets when it comes to sex. So yes the 'more' normally is leading up to sex...not always but normally.

I get that my growth is threatening to everyone right now. I'm just trying not to fall victim to my past behaviors. I always stop what I'm into to keep the peace. I also worry about my lil people when I'm gone. I know he won't get physical but if I can barely handle his tirades how can I let him turn on the kids. So I always end up sacrificing me.

As for standing up for myself. I have been doing that a lot more lately. I've always been a fighter but would eventually back down because I knew I had nowhere to go and that he was mostly good for the kids. But as time has gone on, I've grown to feel most of the time isn't good enough. I get that we all make mistakes as long as we own up to them and learn from them. And we have to make sure the good times outweigh the bad and for me and mine they normally don't. The bad moments just have us all cringing and on edge so much it's hard to enjoy ourselves.

It doesn't help that I think my kids are picking up on my vibe and no matter what I can't hide that, they just read it.

I did find that site recently had have been looking around. Haven't really find my way yet but I'm always open to new things.

As for my me time...this is it. I'm setting myself up for a huge argument if/when he finds out about this. To me, it's venting and guidance...2 very important things I need right now. To him, well I don't know (no mind-reading right). I know that he complains about me sharing my feelings with others and not him. I say sometimes we are just to close and need an outsider. So for me, I came here.

Thanks everyone for you kindness and compassion. It means alot

Doodi